My Great Big Glorious God
The year was 1984. I was edging close to 40. Four decades. I was no child.
But in many ways, I operated as one. How? It was "my way or the highway."
We went to the movie I wanted to see, ate at the restaurant I chose, listened to the music in the car that I loved, raised the kids the way I saw fit, spent our money within my guidelines. Generally did everything Just The Way I Liked It. Yes, indeed.
And somewhere in this time period, God had had enough. Now, I'm not saying He spoke these words specifically to me but here was the Gist of what He imparted.
"Enough is enough. You have Got to grow up. You're not a child anymore. You can't go on living this way."
Now, anybody else had said that I would have kicked them in the shins. But when God sends you this message. Well, at least when God sends me such a strong message, I perk up and listen.
Why? Because in truth I was getting pretty tired of myself, too. Hello. Deep down, I actually hated myself. For being so selfish. And such a taker. That, of course, vacillated in me. On odd days, I was the best thing since sliced bread. Hey, you can't hate yourself Every day. Or at least I can't. ;)
So, extremes. Between I am the worst human being on the planet to I am the best. Oh, brother.
Ok. I hear you, God. But, here's the deal. I am lost as to how to do this. How to change. How to grow up. How to quit being So Dang Selfish.
I mean, I was distraught. This was like asking a couch potato to climb Mt. Everest. Without oxygen! No kidding.
Well, that Great Big Glorious God of mine (ok, now I'm crying) said two words to me: "Baby steps." Baby steps. In other words, we're going to take Baby Steps toward this goal. Oh, my great big glorious God, who but You would think up this plan!
Now, He did not spell out the first baby steps. Nope. I didn't have a clue when the first venture in this new walk would take place.
So, one day out of nowhere. A perfectly ordinary day on the planet. My husband, GT, and I get in the car to go somewhere. And as usual, I reach for the radio knob to put My Music on.
And. God. Stops. Me.
Just gently nudges me.
And I draw my hand back. And I think. And I realize. I have a choice.
And somewhere out of "outer space," (haha) this voice says, "Honey, what station would you like to listen to?" (Ok, now I'm really crying.)
And he looked at me. Like "Who Stole Judith? Did aliens cart her away?!"
But once GT recovered, he made a suggestion. Timidly, I grant you.
And I found That radio station for him.
It was that simple. It was that complex. It was that earthly. And that heavenly.
Because God intersected my life that day and interrupted my path.
And that was the beginning of the woman you know as Judith today.
Here is your takeaway, my friends.
If you are plagued by a habit, an attitude, a lifestyle, a way of thinking and acting that you wish to goodness you could change.
Take heart. Gain hope. From my story.
Because If You Are Willing.
God will take you one baby step at a time.
To your goal.
He Loves You So!
Hearts to all.....